You’re in Spain, and a tall, dark, handsome stranger approaches you. All you remember how to say from your high school Spanish class is “Where is the bathroom?,” “I’m sorry,” and “Can you please call an ambulance?”- statements that really don’t convey your insane attraction to him.

It’s too bad you didn’t take those lessons at the award-winning Beverly Hills Linguistics Institute. Everyone from rocket scientists to CEO’s to celebrities take classes in the beautiful facility. They offer classes for over 25 languages, including the usual suspects (Spanish and French) and the more hard-to-find Farsi, Thai and Serbian. Classes are never more than 10 students deep, they feature university-level instructors and still manage to have very reasonable pricing.  

Also great for travelers, the BHLI offers lessons for those wishing to get ready for trips, complete with instructors who can offer great insider info about authentic places to go for the best international food and conversation in the city. They may even be able to teach you culturally-friendly ways to woo the locals.  So now you have a reason to drop in for several classes before you jet set to far-off lands.

And please get that Spanish back in shape so Enrique doesn’t slip away next time.

Beverly Hills Lingual Institute
439 North Canon Drive, Suite 207
Beverly Hills, CA 90210
http://www.bhlingual.com/

Is your outfit not quite making the statement you wanted it to? Don’t worry, Jessica Cushman is here to add that quirky twist you’ve been tearing through your closet to find.

You can add a little flare to any outfit from ball gowns to jeans with these resin reproducted ivory scrimshaw bangles. Bangle sayings are limited edition and hand-inked, making each piece slightly different from the next. From the sassy “Do you have any idea who I am?” to the silly “Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious,” to our favorite “Does this bracelet make me look fat?”, these pieces are the perfect addition to that outfit you can’t get quite right.

http://www.jessicacushman.com/

Remember how jealous you used to be of your brother’s mountain bike when all you had was a little red trike? Dry your eyes. 

The all new, 2008 Can-Am Spyder may look strange, but it surely does not disappoint. A power-house machine with an identity crisis, the Spyder doesn’t quite know whether it’s an ATV or motorcycle. Whatever it is, this crazy contraption, brought to us by the creators of Sea-Doo and Ski-Doo, blends classic sport performance with fresh design. A liquid-cooled V-2 pumps out 106 horsepower, taking the Spyder from 0 to 60mph in 4.5 seconds.  Available first to California and Arizona residents, these $15k bad boys are sure to fly out of showrooms.

Get your mitts on one, and hit your brother where it hurts. 

http://spyder.brp.com

Many of us have intense emotional ties to chocolate. We eat it at work, at play, in desserts, for breakfast. We eat it when we’re depressed, joyful, feeling loopy, or are simply really angry at the world. It’s truly a staple in our lives.

It’s hard for the chocolate itself to actually echo these emotions, but Bloomsberry & Co. fits that bill making chocolate to go with your every desire, thought and emotion. They make “Marital Bliss” bars, “Bochox” (our favorite) and “Girth Control” bars, sexy and lustful bars, and holiday bars. Not only is the wrapper clever, the chocolate is of the highest quality.

So now our candy can woo our dates, talk to us, cry with us,  and acknowledge with us that we are getting fat in the process.

http://www.bloomsberry.com

 So after the three liters of coffee we drink each day, it gets a little difficult to keep the choppers as gleaming white as one might like. We’ve all tried the different whitening fads, but for those of us who don’t appreciate the strips that peel off, that nail polishey gel that’s painted on and doesn’t work, or paying $700 to have your teeth lasered by crazy blue lights, hope seems lost.

But don’t worry! The geniuses at Aquafresh have come out with a disposable, comfortable, quick tray system that does the exact same thing as your dentist’s $200 custom-fitted trays do. You just slip them on- 45 minutes a day- for one week. After three days teeth are stainless and smooth, after seven they’re WHITE. But not TOO white. So don’t worry if you aren’t a fan of the game-show host blinding smile, you can always stop at day four or five to keep from turning paper plate white.

And with a price tag of $25, we definitely will have something to smile about.

http://www.aquafresh.com/whitetrays/default.aspx

It’s the same old story with mascara. We’re all wooed by the ads and photo spreads of Eva Longoria and other starlets with giant, feathery eyelashes that look (and probably are) fake.  We run out to buy that new mascara which boasts an innovative formula, flexible brush, curling technology, whatever.  We give it an honest shot, but it leaves us completely defeated, spidery, and out $10. It then inevitably hits the bottom of our makeup drawer, never to be seen again, we fight our eyes with superpowered remover, and are now on the lookout for yet another miracle product.

Well take it from us, this Bourjois “Yes to Volume, No to Clumps” wonder is about to break that sorry cycle.

You know how awesome your eyelashes look when the tube is almost empty, your brush is dry, and you can comb it through really evenly? That’s how this bad boy is from the moment you open it. It’s a collagen-enhanced formula, and comes with a supertiny and stiff brush which you comb through numerous times- plump plump plumping up your lashes as you go. Not only does it completely volumize and create clump-free eyes, it lasts much longer. The brush doesn’t soak up half the tube so that extra product remains right where you need it.

Out of your junk drawer and on your Longoria-esque face.

www.ulta.com

 

Wrigley’s Gum has now masculinized what the doublemint twins made cute and bubbly.

5 is a sugar free gum, meant to take you through a brief, but intense, oral sensation “you can feel when you chew”. Apparently they offer tingling, cooling and warming feelings.

Similar to the unreal smells of men’s Axe body sprays and Old Spice deodorants (”Arctic Peak”, “Mountain Rush” and “Whitewater Rapids”, anyone?), we face crazy un-tastes with this gum. That’s right, 5 Gum comes in three flavors- Rain, Cobalt, and Flare. We’re going to guess that those mean spearmint, peppermint and cinnamon, but we can’t be sure.

This new line of gum was announced in March, but is only now beginning to show it’s face in minimarts and grocery stores. We aren’t really convinced, but since Wrigley created the miracle gum Orbit, we’re willing to give it a shot.

www.wrigley.com

Love sushi but hate fish? We hear you.

MOTO, located on 6845 N 16th St. in Phoenix, created this insane dessert- MOJOs- a sliced roll of their ice cream flavor of-the-day, brownie chunks, and Rice Krispies. Basically, they’re sugar-laden caloriefests.

And don’t worry about the order being small and conventional sushi-sized. These effers are huge! And they come in six or twelve piece bowls- for days you want to be bad, and days you want to be very bad.

MOTO also features a daily happy hour from 3-7, which includes dirt cheap beer and wine and 50% off traditional sushi rolls.

For those of you who like that sort of thing.

www.mrmotorising.com

So we know it’s a little weird to pimp Target, but their GO Fashion lines are just beyond amazing.

Libertine, the latest “flight� of designerwear, is full of really wearable (and some insane) pieces that can instantly vamp up one’s wardrobe for dirt cheap prices. And the best part? It’s the perfect style of clothing to ease us into fall- a transitional line of fun embroidered shorts, light and patterened button-downs, T-shirts printed with crows and creepy trees, and argyle sweater vests with skulls on them. Easy pieces that can be worn year-round to freak out your friends and family.

Two people in our office have already purchased the black, librarian-chic dress shown above, which looks like it could double as Halloweenwear.

www.target.com

 

While some of us are traveling to exotic, far-off destinations, others of us are prisoners of our desks and rarely make it out of the state.But lucky for us, certain boutiques find fun pieces of clothing that transport us to other places.

Heidi Boutique, located at 10428 E. Jomax Rd in Scottsdale, brings a little bit of CA to the Valley, because she travels around California buying bits and pieces of what one sees while shopping in Hollywood.

This Nanette Lepore skirt and jacket echos the types of finds you are lucky to stumble upon in upscale thrift stores in Beverly Hills. Like a classic Chanel suit, these pieces are absolutely timeless.

She also carries a variety of fun metallics, which take you easily through summer and into the fall- worn with breezy white pants and some jeweled flats, you can at least look ready to go shopping on Robertson.

Trina Turk, also carried our favorite Valley boutique, designs drapey, silky tops and dresses perfect for a luxurious day on a yacht on the Pacific. Or, you know, a work function.
www.heidiboutique.com