Looking to humiliate someone? We always are.

Log onto our new favorite distraction, FaceInHole. Choose a picture of your victim, choose one of hundreds of backgrounds and scenes to stick it in, and upload.  Instant mortification.

Muahahahah.

Marie Antoinette clearly knew how to party.

We often wonder which effervescent cocktails royalty like Ms. Antoinette may have chosen when given the option. Though they probably didn’t involve Red Bull or Apple Puckers, we know there’s got to be an entire world of delicious 18th century concoctions that would translate well to our generations.

St. Germain has a pretty good idea of what they drank, we believe. This fine artisanal French liqueur is derived from wild blossoms of elderflowers, handpicked on the Swiss Alps in very limited qualities. It gives cocktails an expensive, subtly floral and fruity sensation- not distictly any one fruit, but hints of many. A tad peach, pear, lychee and citrus, but not enough to call it any.  

Our favorite summery recipe St. Germain has to offer is the blossoming Versaille Cocktail- it includes splashes of champagne, St. Germain, bourbon and a spritz of lemon, and is served in saucer-shaped champagne glass, a la Ms. Antoinette. Très délicieux.

Those expensive french pastries, jewels, shoes and bouquets of flowers aren’t optional for your party, they’re required.

Elaine Benes once said, “The female body is a work of art. A man’s body is utilitarian… it’s for getting around. Like a Jeep.” 

It’s true. Who doesn’t love to look at girls? Straight men love them for a very obvious reason- shopping around. Gay men love to dish about hot chick clothing, hair extensions and fashion. Lesbians love babes, obvi. Even straight women don’t mind flipping through the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue every year. Chicks are amazing.  Need proof? Magazines with babes on the covers consistently sell the most on newsstands, brides consistently get more attention than grooms, and there’s no such thing as male supermodels. 

There’s something for everyone on our new favorite site Chickipedia- The Wiki of Hot Women. This crazily high-tech (not to mention incredibly thorough) site catalogues basically every girl you can think of. Check out categories, look for that special someone alphabetically, or click “random chick” for a surprise babe. Men will love the photos, vids and certain stats (vices and hookups, among others), and women will pore over every chick’s height, measurements and informative news articles and links. So take a few minutes today, click around, and appreciate a babe or two.

They make the world go round.

By day, you’re an account executive.  By night, you’re a Dreamgirl.

But there can be more to your double life than just singing in the shower and batting your false eyelashes at investment bankers in nightclubs. Now you can actually own sequined outfits and props from the major motion picture.

Not only can you browse through the blingin’ Dreamgirls page at the Premiere Props website for the exact garments worn by your singing sistas, but you can purchase the 27 Dresses worn in the Katherine Heigl film, find bloody dresses and tuxes from the Prom Night horror movie and TV show wardrobes from Hollywood, Paramount and Universal Backlots. 

It’s time to practice that Oscar acceptance speech.

It’s hard to enjoy your Chipotle Burrito Bowl when the hot, really skinny girl Jennie in your department keeps saying things like “I can’t believe you ate all that,” “Oh my god, you got a large?” and “Oh my god, you eat so fast.” It’s so hard to hold back and try to eat as slowly (and little) as she does.

Life is hard when you’re hungry.  Really hungry.  All the time. 

Log on to Hungry Girl for the coolest low-cal recipes ever- that’s right, nachos, nutty brownies, 150-calorie margaritas and much more, which you can pound as much as you want of with very little damage. We don’t know how Hungry Girl does it, but she finds easy substitutions that make dangerous and destructive dishes mind-bogglingly healthy. Browse the site for easy dishes, sign up for her e-newsletters to get recipes sent to you each day, or buy the super fun cookbook on Amazon. 

Let Jennie think that she was part of the reason you lost all those L-B’s. She’ll never know that you actually trimmed down by eating entire bowls of spinach dip each night. By yourself.

Remember when Tinkerbell got trapped in that lantern? Wouldn’t it have been awesome if you could have a little tink in a jar?

The cool folks at Charles & Marie have created an incredible, sandblasted Sun Jar, which almost looks like you’ve stored a trapped fairy inside.  The jar actually absorbs sunlight during the day, and emits a glow all night long on your patio, by the pool, surrounding an outdoor dinner party…

…or in your treehouse in Neverland.

Just say no to Cosmos during your SATC-The Movie celebratory parties.  

What once was a sexy, symbolic, girly drink is now just plain passe. Not to mention a little gross. Skyy Vodka has whipped up some new Sex and the City signature cocktails for you and your friends- drinks that aren’t embarrassing to make or drink. Check out their site for more info and pictures.

Carrie
Skyy Vodka, Triple sec, mango nectar, freshly squeezed lime juice and simple syrup are shaken with ice, strained into a chilled martini glass and garnished with slice of dried mango.

Miranda
SKYY Vodka, Campari, pomegranate juice, triple sec and lemon are shaken with ice, strained into a chilled flute and garnished with a large lemon twist.

Charlotte
SKYY Vodka, Frangelico hazelnut liqueur, amaretto almond liqueur, Godiva dark chocolate liqueur and half and half are shaken with ice, strained into a chilled martini glass and garnished with shaved chocolate.

Samantha
SKYY Vodka, Cabo Wabo Añejo tequila, simple syrup and freshly squeezed lime juice are shaken with ice, and strained into a chilled martini glass. 

Mr. Big
Cutty Sark, Cinzano Rosso and peach bitters are shaken with ice, strained into an ice-filled glass and garnished with a peach slice.

America’s love affair with cupcakes began with children’s birthday parties, evolved into a newer obsession with gourmet cupcakes from Magnolia Bakery and seen on the Food Network in Ina and Paula’s kitchens. Now, the world is saturated with mass-produced cupcake mixes, holders, special silicone cupcake tools, specialty cookbooks, kits, stationery, and blogs.

Sure, they’re cute. Delicious? Undoubtedly. Let’s add completely, utterly ubiquitous to the list. We, as a country, need to move on.

Martha Stewart’s Cookies book makes us nostalgic for interesting times when people tried new things. In it, readers will find 175 recipes, broken down into categories like “light and delicate”, “rich and dense”, “chunky and nutty”, “soft and chewy”, “crisp and crunchy”, “crumbly and sandy”,  and “cake-y and tender”, all of which have been tested and approved. Each recipe is delicious and different, and each comes with a full-color, full-page photo.

Hopefully it will serve as a roadmap toward more thoughtful baking efforts.

As your grandma once said, “tan fat is better than white fat.”

But self-tanner is a battle. When you don’t use it, you feel lily-white and blotchy. And when you do use it, it streaks, rolls off of you like crumbs, and wears off inconsistently, leaving moss-like patches across your face and neck. Aside from baking like a KFC crispy chicken in the sun, what else can you do? 

Check out Benefit’s Talk to the Tan bronze facial tint, which will give you the color you want in 30 drama-free seconds. Just apply a little to your face every morning, fake that sun-kissed glow all day, and rinse it off each night. No scrubbing, elbow grease or pumice needed.

Thank god.

Somebody once told me that the reason Drew Barrymore lost all that weight is because she stopped her then-daily habit of eating avocados like apples. Like that’ll stop me from hoarding these bad boys.

Kona Grill, in Scottsdale Fashion Square, has the most brilliant celebration of avocado imaginable. It’s called the Avocado Egg Roll, and is truly a life-changing experience. A generous blob of avocado, chunks of sun-dried tomatoes and bits of red onions are stuffed in egg-roll shells and served steaming hot and crispy on the outside and cool and smooth on the inside. They come with a cilantro-honey dipping sauce, which we’re convinced is made with one part honey, one part cilantro, and one part dream-come-true.

Shhh… don’t tell Drew.